~ I am the MUFFIN man ~
Ever watched shrek 2? Remember the muffin man?
Yeap, today i felt like i was one. Baking my own creation.
Was at louiss' house today with vio to make muffins! Haha.
Was fun. And we used hersheys choc chips to make faces in
them.
Had so many ideas then, we put in milo for a seperate batch
and then it's like it occured to us that we could also put coffee,
banana, orange... blueberry.... nuts... etc etc. Suddenly the thought
of being able to cook or bake is just so enjoyable. Too bad i ain't
got an oven at home. Or i could just try out some of the diff
combinations :)
Oh yeah, went to orchard to collect my phone today. After sending
it for a repair and upgrade. Not bad, they changed my screen and keypad.
But i had to wait like 1 hour plus just to collect. Argh. Soooo many ppl there.
Luckily i managed to psycho louis to accompany me or i'll be really bored.
And guess what... I saw sooo many sch kids around. So i just came to a conclusion
that it's their school holidays. And my sis confirmed it when i returned home.
Nothing much otherwise...
Wonder why i'm writing now.
Guess it's cos i'm trying to get some thing out.
The next level a person can ever go in writing is to be able to
truely write out his personal thoughts and issues that are tugging
at his heart. Only when able to, i guess it'll be another stage of growth.
How convicted is one of his own life purpose such that he can
speak of it convincingly. Or is one never ever really sure but only trying.
Woe is he who keeps quiet, and blessed will be the one who speaks up
and tries. Failing will only serve to teach and guide. To help them grow.
I'm glad some of those i know are able to speak up on their beliefs.
God has used them and they've decided to take up the call.
I still struggle with how to respond but what's really holding me back.
What more and how long more do i want to wait...
I'm glad i'm having little or no emotional attachments to anyone.
Nothing much left to hold me back. Able to forge forward and see things
a little clearer. Although whatever we do may still have an impact on others,
But i think i've not much links left to hold me back.
Where shall i go from here hence forth. It's a journey still and i fear only
to repeat a cycle. Perhaps i need to pluck myself up and be thrown into
the other side of the planet to find out my answer. One's need for survival
does open the eyes of the heart and soul.
Ya da ya da. Head is aching. Throbbing still. Hope these thoughts will take
a more solid place within the mind that i hope i can still call mine. That the neruons
within will find their rightful connections and some sudden burst of inspiration
whether from my mind or from the Holy Spirit will guide me on my next course
of action.
Sleep Date: 280505 0352
Signing out.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
~ Of the weeks past ~
Quite far into the holidays already... 3 weeks. Time seems to pass really
quickly these days.
Haven't been writing. Guess it's mental block. Or maybe just plain laziness.
Been tired. Travelling can be really tiring, esp when your journey takes you
close to 2 hours 1 way. Made a resolution, to stay in hall all the way.
Travelling to school everyday will kill me. Especially if it involves more then
1 830 lesson a week.
Been going back to school almost everyday, due to me trying to be hero and take
a GE and also to be my project. Taking psychology and learning about how the mind
works and there's dentrites, synapses, meylin sheeths... ya.. all those biological terms
to tell how the neurons in the brain works. Also had a topic on sex and sexuality.
Interesting :p. And from what my tutor said, it seems there's be a module just on that
in the coming months time. How interesting can that be! haha.
Been wondering, how hard it is to start writing too... it's like the mind is like an engjne,
the longer you don't use it the harder it is to start up. Perhaps that's true also for our minds
when it comes to writing. Or maybe it's just that we do not have enough issues to write on.
Whatever it is... I just had an interesting thought and that is if before some exams or studying
if we could come up with a mind program to just kick start our engines, perhaps studying or
learning might be more effective.
On another note, I've been looking at lots of kids and babies recently. And it's partly due
to me travelling more. I see parents carrying their childen, and then i'll be looking at their
kids. I wonder what the parents would be thinking.
"... What is it guy doing staring at my kid..."
"... Oh my child is so bothersome ... "
"... Why is my child making so much noise and attracting so much attention..."
Anyway for me as an onlooker, it does seem like children and babies are pretty interesting
and 'appealing' in a way. But when it comes to having your own.... it bring about another
kind of burden that'll just seem to drain your life away. Looking at some parents and the
way they look at their child, it seems like they know they're doing their duty as parents
but somehow it's like their lost and irritated at the same time.
Can't really blame them if they're almost always kept up all night trying to tend to the baby.
Which brings me to my next point and that is of people of our generation. I tend to hear
most of my friends and other people say that they'll never want to have kids. Even in the
media, in Desperate Housewives, Gabbe is so against having a baby for fear it'll cause her to
lose her current lifestyle.
We all seek self satifaction these days, we fear losing the comforts we have now. Sometimes
even fearing the responsibilities that we'll have to take on. Then how can we grow as a person
if we're only willing to just stay to our old ways. But i guess that's just the problem we'll all
face at one point in our lives.
How then can we be proper role models to the young or even know how to take care of them
properly. Do we even try to run away from the duty of having to care for the young and use
the excuse of having to work and bring busy to push the duty to maids or teachers?
Is this the cause of us not having a proper role model or mentor in our lives during our
growing years? Have we been left alone and only taught to fend for ourselves... is this the kind
of circumstance that most of us have been growing up in...? I wonder... Will this be a cycle that
will cause the degeneration of familes.
Thinking back of the past when familes were close knit and perhaps even in kampung days.
Parents were always around and even though if some weren't so good at parenting, the family
grew together. And there was always someone there for the youngsters to look up to and to
learn from. Even if i were to wander off to the times of the dark ages, is it not true that the
young had to choose the trade they wanted to be in and bring themselves under mentorship
of masters of the trades. Seems like that was how things worked in the past.
Coming back to the present and comparing, i think we just lack someone to look up to and
follow. We lack a certain mentor or teacher to take us in as a disciple. We may have our teachers
but they come and go all too soon. Perhaps the education system should have be such that
primary school teachers should follow the class all the way from pri 1 to 6. Maybe that way
there might be a sense of recognition and better understanding between the students and
teachers.
Oh gosh... it's 315... no wonder i'm seeming to be writing off track. Ideas flowing in and out.
Nothing solid forming. But it's a good work out for my mind. Been a long time since i've written
this way. Hopefully i'll be able to think clearer if i get more sleep.
Sigh... 830 tom... wonder if i can wake up.
Eyes droopy, Eyeballs strained, mind shutting down.
In this quiet of the night, I hear nothing
I see lights on, only a few and I see green patchs on tv screens across the block
Probably watching soccer matches.
In this night there are...
People tired, catching up with sleep.
People amidst in their merry making.
People working, wishing time would move faster.
People surfing, and chatting.
People doing of things in the dark.
People just like me probably blogging...
People who are just far away, in a dreamland
where they might feel relieved of their everyday problems.
Quite far into the holidays already... 3 weeks. Time seems to pass really
quickly these days.
Haven't been writing. Guess it's mental block. Or maybe just plain laziness.
Been tired. Travelling can be really tiring, esp when your journey takes you
close to 2 hours 1 way. Made a resolution, to stay in hall all the way.
Travelling to school everyday will kill me. Especially if it involves more then
1 830 lesson a week.
Been going back to school almost everyday, due to me trying to be hero and take
a GE and also to be my project. Taking psychology and learning about how the mind
works and there's dentrites, synapses, meylin sheeths... ya.. all those biological terms
to tell how the neurons in the brain works. Also had a topic on sex and sexuality.
Interesting :p. And from what my tutor said, it seems there's be a module just on that
in the coming months time. How interesting can that be! haha.
Been wondering, how hard it is to start writing too... it's like the mind is like an engjne,
the longer you don't use it the harder it is to start up. Perhaps that's true also for our minds
when it comes to writing. Or maybe it's just that we do not have enough issues to write on.
Whatever it is... I just had an interesting thought and that is if before some exams or studying
if we could come up with a mind program to just kick start our engines, perhaps studying or
learning might be more effective.
On another note, I've been looking at lots of kids and babies recently. And it's partly due
to me travelling more. I see parents carrying their childen, and then i'll be looking at their
kids. I wonder what the parents would be thinking.
"... What is it guy doing staring at my kid..."
"... Oh my child is so bothersome ... "
"... Why is my child making so much noise and attracting so much attention..."
Anyway for me as an onlooker, it does seem like children and babies are pretty interesting
and 'appealing' in a way. But when it comes to having your own.... it bring about another
kind of burden that'll just seem to drain your life away. Looking at some parents and the
way they look at their child, it seems like they know they're doing their duty as parents
but somehow it's like their lost and irritated at the same time.
Can't really blame them if they're almost always kept up all night trying to tend to the baby.
Which brings me to my next point and that is of people of our generation. I tend to hear
most of my friends and other people say that they'll never want to have kids. Even in the
media, in Desperate Housewives, Gabbe is so against having a baby for fear it'll cause her to
lose her current lifestyle.
We all seek self satifaction these days, we fear losing the comforts we have now. Sometimes
even fearing the responsibilities that we'll have to take on. Then how can we grow as a person
if we're only willing to just stay to our old ways. But i guess that's just the problem we'll all
face at one point in our lives.
How then can we be proper role models to the young or even know how to take care of them
properly. Do we even try to run away from the duty of having to care for the young and use
the excuse of having to work and bring busy to push the duty to maids or teachers?
Is this the cause of us not having a proper role model or mentor in our lives during our
growing years? Have we been left alone and only taught to fend for ourselves... is this the kind
of circumstance that most of us have been growing up in...? I wonder... Will this be a cycle that
will cause the degeneration of familes.
Thinking back of the past when familes were close knit and perhaps even in kampung days.
Parents were always around and even though if some weren't so good at parenting, the family
grew together. And there was always someone there for the youngsters to look up to and to
learn from. Even if i were to wander off to the times of the dark ages, is it not true that the
young had to choose the trade they wanted to be in and bring themselves under mentorship
of masters of the trades. Seems like that was how things worked in the past.
Coming back to the present and comparing, i think we just lack someone to look up to and
follow. We lack a certain mentor or teacher to take us in as a disciple. We may have our teachers
but they come and go all too soon. Perhaps the education system should have be such that
primary school teachers should follow the class all the way from pri 1 to 6. Maybe that way
there might be a sense of recognition and better understanding between the students and
teachers.
Oh gosh... it's 315... no wonder i'm seeming to be writing off track. Ideas flowing in and out.
Nothing solid forming. But it's a good work out for my mind. Been a long time since i've written
this way. Hopefully i'll be able to think clearer if i get more sleep.
Sigh... 830 tom... wonder if i can wake up.
Eyes droopy, Eyeballs strained, mind shutting down.
In this quiet of the night, I hear nothing
I see lights on, only a few and I see green patchs on tv screens across the block
Probably watching soccer matches.
In this night there are...
People tired, catching up with sleep.
People amidst in their merry making.
People working, wishing time would move faster.
People surfing, and chatting.
People doing of things in the dark.
People just like me probably blogging...
People who are just far away, in a dreamland
where they might feel relieved of their everyday problems.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
~ Spirit : Stallion Of Cimarron ~
Lyrics - Bryan Adams---Here I Am
Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true
It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am
Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong
[Chorus]
Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me
Lyrics - Bryan Adams---Here I Am
Here I am - this is me
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
Here I am - it's just me and you
And tonight we make our dreams come true
It's a new world - it's a new start
It's alive with the beating of young hearts
It's a new day - it's a new plan
I've been waiting for you
Here I am
Here we are - we've just begun
And after all this time - our time has come
Ya here we are - still goin' strong
Right here in the place where we belong
[Chorus]
Here I am - next to you
And suddenly the world is all brand new
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay
Now there's nothin standin in our way
Here I am - this is me
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