~ Been so long ~

So long, so long. This has been empty for so long.
Have been wanting to write since Chinese New year eve...
to talk of the things that i've noticed... and sudden revealations
that speaks of culture and beliefs.

So much time has passed since then and i've been on the go since then too.
It was pretty much a holiday mood then but things picked up and i've
moved along at it's pace.

Finally too... also learnt to accept things. Realised that certain things are not meant
to be. A longing still remains, but it's not one that desires anymore... just one that
hopes things will be well. That we'll be able to joke and talk like before.... or perhaps
that's going to be impossible.

We all write for many reasons.... a burden within wanting to seek expression.
A longing to be heard or a desire to share our views... still it takes a stiring in the soul
and heart... to be able to want to blurt out things one normally wouldn't say to others.

What am i doing now. Just staring at my tut for tomorrow, trying perhaps to understand it
before i sleep. Yet in my mind a restless burden exists... always there. Is it waiting to be
resolved...? Or does it just need more time before it decided to slip into the inner depths
of my memory only to come back when i'm old.

CNY.... visitings... dinners... school... projects... events.... those are the things that's just passed.
And now i'm just typing here... feeling weary.

Maybe not so much from things i've done... in fact they make me feel alive in a way.
But still weary... why....?
I'm beginning to believe that a good night's sleep will slove things.
And it does.... but yet things creap in slowly as the day progresses and it's sometimes just
back to square one whether you like it or not.
Hahah...
oh well... a tired man's mumblings never does seem coherent does it.
Well just let me mumble somemore... maybe when i look at this
some time later... i'll be amazed that i've even writen all these.