~Confessions of a broken mind~

Pain used to be something to overcome.
It used to be a challenge.
Still is.
But now, even in dreams.

Comfort is supposed to be synonymous with rest.
But it ain't the case no more,
Tiredness is a lesser burden,
Compared to feeling alive.

Anguish and bitterness came,
Was stuck in rage's cage.
Yet all the while seeming to be in the light.
Hopelessly covering the cracks in the walls.

Hope came, hope healed.
For a while there was purpose.
It got better, but complacency took over.
Then stopped and things got worse.

Now it's slowly coming back,
Not as intense, but creeping, lingering.
At the back, down the back, driving me nuts.
But it's different from before.

Tried to serve, to give my life,
But Inner self and desires always lay dorment,
Even without intensity, the mind is a watchful leopard.
So lust overcomes and without much thought, relents.

Pain as punishment is better, compared to coming from nowhere at all.
We may all need our own pain's to keep us in check.
For I thought of this while in one...