~ The month long week... ~

Seems like it'll never end, day after day, panicking and trying to finish labs and tuts.
Finally friday is here but yet the things aren't done yet. People are queuing up to book
lab sessions and it's like even in the morning there's a queue. Like queuing up for Hello
Kitty like that. Damn...

Anyway... it's a good thing to have panic... or i wouldn't have started on anything at all.
At least with the sense of urgency i managed to do some studying, tuts, labs and projcet.
Much more things that i usually get done within a week. Seems like stress is good in a way... but i'm getting burned out. Think only need sleep now...it's just so tempting right now... ahhh..

Anyway, been taking a course in Creative Relations For Life as a GE. Been a rather interesting
and informative module. Although it's lots of chatting and discussion and not much to do
with academic stuff. But it does alot for self thought. Dunno if it's doing more good or bad
though, for ppl ard me have always been saying not to think too much... haha...
maybe gotta couple thinking with actions so that it'll be more productive.

Well where was i, ah.. back to serious stuff. Ok, first off, from a religious teaching point of
view, i learnt that we were made for a purpose, made for a relationship. A relationship with God.
Now then, academically, even philosphers and teachings alike are saying that man cannot
live alone, without touch and relating to his environment.

Some may say, didn't Jungle Boy grew up without ever havnig contacts with human? Or
even Tarzan? Well it's just a story! But then, even then, they had contact and even some
sort of relation with the animals that took care of them or played with them. So in a sense,
it is true that we cannnot life alone without interacting with the environment no matter how
individualistic one can or may be.

Even in times of depression or feeling of insecurity when one needs and wants to be alone.
What is it that one is going through during such times? What does one really think about?
Doesn't one acutually seek and hope that someone will come to save them. To bring them out
of the isolation they created themselves? Or when in sadness, actually wish to relate to, to
lash out at the person of interest?

In a sense, it really seems that no matter what the goal of our life is, there's no escaping the
fact that we're not really living for ourselves at all and we can not find our true meaning unless
we've learn how to think beyond ourselves and live for a purpose beyond ourselves.

How some people find power in the goal of seeking to become powerful or to seek fame and
recognition. It's a strong drive to live for themselves and to prove their worth, a determined
mind that doesn't seek to back down. Yet behind that drive, to prove one's own worth and value
in the world... is it not to seek the approval of others? Maybe a means to a goal to an inner desire to be able to relate to another human?

It is a way that's approved by the world. It makes people work hard. Keep things going and keeps things fair...

But then, in Christianity, it is taught that God has forgiven us, given us a new life in him and
showed grace that doesn't require anything in return... Teaches that no amount of effort we
put in to saving ourself or to show our own worth will ever amount to anything. That salvation
is about grace given to us and not something we can earn...

So what does it have to do with relations in humans...? Well besides the fact that we were
MADE for having relationship with God, which in very essence coincides with what academics
believe in. Thus, won't it be that in our own lives, we'll never feel complete til we manage to
be able to relate to another person, society or spiritually in a deeper sense...?

Haha... well... it's seems that my undestanding as of now is still inadequate as the words that
seemed to formed in the mind are starting to dissipate and flow into mambo jambo. Many things
seem to be easier thought of in the mind then expressed out in words. Then again, perhaps it's
the lack of proper understanding that's why it is so...

Whatever it is... seems like i've writen quite alot this round... wonder if anyone will understand
this time... haha.